It's been way too long and I've missed blogging the past couple of weeks. I still have my morning blog (which I've been away from this week) but I miss writing about my every day life things.
I was inspired to blog today and I couldn't wait to get home and write. I can remember being in love with writing every since I was little. I loved writing poems, stories, free-writing in journals. I remember being in creative writing group after school and I loved it! Writing was my way of expressing my feelings and venting to the outside world. I miss that...I miss the ability to let words flow freely from me. I want that back.
This past weekend we went home to visit family and spend the long weekend away. On our way back home we stopped to say our goodbye's to my hubby's grandma. She has been suffering from Dementia for many years now and we knew that her battle was coming to an end. On Monday, my hubby was holding his grandma's hand as she passed away. We did not know that she would be in peace at the very moment we went to visit her, but God has His perfect timing and the whole situation felt like a divine interaction.
I've experienced much more loss in my life than my hubby has. I was there when my grandma passed away, I was in the room when she took her last breathe and we said our goodbye's as a family. Loss is never easy, but knowing that the next thing our loved ones will see is Jesus' face is so calming and reassuring. Knowing that they are at peace is also a great peace.
This morning I got to work and was given a dozen hugs from little arms. I almost felt like God was sending His love to me from the motions of little children. After seeing almost all my students, I picked up on the fact that my co-teachers talked to the students yesterday about why I wasn't at school. They let me know that they made something for me and they continued to let me know how happy they were to see me. One little girl said to me, "Teacher Hillari, I told my mommy that you were really sad and that your heart was hurting". I gave her a big hug and squeezed her real tight. This little girl is a simple example of why I love what I do. These children remind me of the precious innocence of life and continue to show me the best ways to look at the world.
My heart is hurting - for my hubby and for his family, but in the moment my heart couldn't help but burst with happiness and love for life and for seeing the world through innocent eyes.
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